|
OBSERVER LOUNGE
A man in his late 20s has been chasing my sister for
close to a year and she is not interested. I liked him from
the time I saw him and I now have a crush on him. Do I tell
my sister or I tell the guy about my feelings?
I know my sister does not want him, but I love him so much,
I don't want anybody to hurt him.
Advise
Stella
Response (S):
You are making a very big mistake here. Consider your relationship
with your own blood sister. Remember this man has been seeing
you around while chasing your sister so do not expect him
to turn to you all of a sudden. Ask your sister to stop
wasting his time and tell him the truth. I don't think he
will be comfortable becoming an in-law of someone he once
died for. Leave him alone and think of opening up your own
chapter and settle down.
CNA GIFT
BEIJING-CHINA.
Before you tell him about your feelings, create an atmosphere
of attraction. On his impromptu visits as he chases your
sister always be there for him. Simply get close to him,
proximity will breed intimacy as the saying goes.
It is wise to let your sister know since from day one she
has never liked him.
Enos
0712315768
Being a secret admirer is not easy Since your sister is
seeing someone else tell her how you feel about that guy
and see her reaction if its positive she will be in position
to help you but if she is not, just back off and wait for
your Mr Right. Otherwise at the end of it all you will not
be able to meet your sister eye to eye. She might pretend
not to love him but wants to keep him around in case things
don't go right with the other guy.
Sylvia Nattembo
Kampala
You are mixing two things up. Having a crush on someone
does not mean you love them. Most of us have had a lot of
crushes out of our lust but the more you learn about the
person the more you lose it; however, first befriend him,
see his response, if it is positive go on. Remember not
to talk to him about your sister's escapades he may want
to revenge using you.
Frank .M
Some guys are not comfortable when a woman they are not
pursuing tells them she has feelings for them but after
knowing him for a year you are in a position to tell him
how you feel. Telling your sister is not a bad idea since
she is not interested in him so then you will be sure that
if you pursue him there will be no bad blood between you
and her.
Eddie Kigozi
Nairobi, Kenya
Before you tell any of them, first consult God and get
a divine answer (John16:13-15). But be careful that the
guy does not end up using you instead of talking commitment
and marriage.
Prince Kasagama Isagara Ateenyi
princejnt@yahoo.com
There is a risk of rejection. Therefore be cautious, do
not show your intentions openly. Let it be a gradual process.
Tell him about your sister not having feelings for him,
because she is seeing another man. Then see his reaction.
You can then tell him that you are available if he is interested.
You might be surprised that he was all along more attracted
to you, but feared to tell you because you knew that he
was chasing your sister.
Edward
Crushes are normal but they tend to fade so soon especially
when you have given in to the desire. Crushes are often
regrettable, so first study that guy for some time considering
your sister's feelings as well before rushing for him. You
are simply lusting after him.
Edward Bindhe
Masaka
I think you just pity him because you see him chasing your
sister whom you know is not interested. Having a crush on
someone is normal and you shouldn't confuse it with love.
Soon it will wear off. Talk to her and ask her why she has
no interest in the guy. Then let her know about your crush,
I know she won't block you unless there is a big problem
with him.
Herbert Ssali
0714 823884
It is very ok to have a crush. Love is not a feeling it
is a commitment. Don't tell anybody about it you will appear
so needy and desperate. Get a piece of paper and write whatever
you feel for him as a way of releasing it then burn it.
Be patient those feelings will fade.
Nina Grace Wango
If you feel sorry, touched and attracted to the man whom
your sister has rejected for a year, I encourage you to
take him up but you cannot force your sister to accept a
proposal of a man she does not love.
B.M. Kiketha
Mountains of the Moon University,
Fort Portal.
And next week…
I have been married for five years. The t problem is
that my mother has failed to appreciate my wife.
I know my mother is problematic and my sisters and brother
have advised me to ignore her, but I can't live with the
pain. My mother has said she will never set foot in my house
again if my wife is still with me. Is there a way out?
Stephen
To advise Stephen
E-mail: lounge@ugandaobserver.com
Or SMS: type LOUNGE, leave a space,
write your comments and send to 198.
This service is available across MTN, Celtel and UTL networks
|
